


The Doctor Is In

by yonderdarling



Series: Doctor/Missy Oneshots [3]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Banter, Dialogue-Only, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-24
Updated: 2017-01-24
Packaged: 2018-09-19 14:41:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9445907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yonderdarling/pseuds/yonderdarling
Summary: Insipid stupidity with implied nudity.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Dug up from the depths of my WIP folder during NaNoWriMo. Inspired by a scene in Nazi-Occupied France, summarised by the comment, "I wrote the line "the Doctor is in" and just paused and wondered at all the missed opportunities in every sex scene or implied sex scene I've ever written."

Rustling. Murmured directions. Finally, the rhythmic squeak of springs and sighing.

"Yes, yes, that's good - there."

"My arm is going numb."

"Hold it there anyway that's, yes hello, that's good there."

"Well this is going to be painful for one of us - "

"It was painful for you anyway, you sanctimonious whinger - "

The squeaking grows louder. There's a moan in the dark. Then, another moan. This one is annoyed.

"Seriously?"

"Sorry, Missy, you know how it can be difficult in the dark."

"Actually." Blankets rustle. "Why is it so dark?"

There's the unmistakable sound of someone clapping their hands over their face. A heavy sigh.

"The TARDIS threw a hissy fit when you came onboard yesterday. The only light is in the - religious texts reading room. And the room with the - "

"That new room with all the life-size holograms of your companions?"

"That's the one."

"Huh. Boo to her then, too bad. I'm staying."

More rustling. A wetter sound - two people kissing. Someone makes a grossed-out noise, albeit a muffled one. Then, the sound of something unsealing with a wet pop.

"Why do tongues have to be involved? What is it with the tongues?"

An exasperated sigh. "Do we need to have this argument every time?"

"No, I'm just commenting."

"Those were questions. Comment away, just - " the bedsprings squeak as someone heavier moves. "Yes, comment while attempting - oof - that at least. No, no not there. Woah, not there anymore, we don't need to do it like that anymore." More squeaking, a muttered apology. "That's - that's nothing that's going to be of interest to you or me."

"Better?"

"Ah - ha, the Doctor is in. Haha. Go wild."

Dead silence in the dark.

"Come on, get moving. Orgasm time."

"Never, never say that again."

"If I promise, will you start moving? You're all elbows and legs right now."

There's a softer noise. Lips pressing together.

"That's not an answer, my boy."

"Never say that again either. Ever."

"Dear boy?"

"Hell no."

Still, the springs begin to squeak again, slowly at first. The pace picks up. There's a giggle.

"I swear, Missy."

"The Doctor is - "

"I'll leave you to finish yourself off if you say anything."

"You like to watch when I - "

"Please stop talking."

 


End file.
